Move Mountains

12/10/2009

I’ve been asking myself lately what it is that makes a relationship work. Why do some succeed where others fail, despite everyone having great intentions going in?  Why are there so many more divorces now than there used to be?  You know what I think?  I think it’s partly because the world is an easier place to live than it used to be. Modern conveniences have made us all self-sufficient. Every man and every woman is capable of making their own way in the world. And that’s a good thing, right?  In many ways, yes. But it has also eliminated need. And dependence. I can almost feel people cringing when they read those words. Who wants to need someone and be dependent on someone?  I do. That’s right. Miss Independent wants to depend on someone.

 Once upon a time, couples had an uphill battle ahead of them just to put food on the table. There was work and lots of it. The man had work responsibilities that were absolutely necessary to support his family. And the woman had her responsibilities that were equally critical in keeping things afloat. They had to work together to keep their bills paid, their house maintained, and their children fed, clothed, and educated. They needed each other. And what’s wrong with that?  It creates a bond… a shared goal. It provides opportunities for each person to be grateful for the other. It creates moments where each person can look at the other and be thankful that they are carrying their burden and respect them for it… because sometimes it was damned hard, but they carried each other through.

 That reality doesn’t exist anymore. What a drastic contrast, in fact. It’s so easy to walk away, to stray to other pastures where the grass seems to be greener. It’s easy enough to find a new place to live, and move on with your life. Really, there is very little holding a couple together anymore. But there is still one thing, and because of the way things have changed, that one thing has to be made of solid gold. It’s love.

 Love has the power to move mountains. Love turns people upside down while at the same time, soars them to new heights. It is the source of the world’s greatest pains and pleasures, sometimes both in the same day. Only love can make someone give up their own life for another. Only love can give people superhuman abilities to rescue each other. Only love has the power to suppress our appetite and our ability to sleep…our basic human needs. As my dad so eloquently puts it, “love is powerful shit”. Love is the one thing that still battles against society’s transgressions, and allows families to grow in the haven of their homes. It is the one thing that can still hold two people together for a lifetime. And if I’ve learned anything from past experiences, if you don’t share real love with someone, you should walk away. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for failure. You won’t have a partner in life. You won’t need one another.

 I’ve found real love in my lifetime. I know it because it took me to my life’s highest highs and my life’s lowest lows. I’ve been utterly vulnerable to someone, because at any give time, that person could have crushed my heart. I just had to trust him not to. I know what it feels like to be thankful to God for putting someone in my life. I know what it feels like to see the answer to my prayers, the vision of my future, my dreams coming true, all wrapped up in one human being. I know what it feels like to believe with all my heart that God intended for my path to cross another’s, forever altering my fate. I know what it feels like when your prayers change… when you find yourself praying for another’s safety, for their happiness, for purity in the relationship and God’s presence in the union.

 And because my heart was broken, I know what it feels like to be angry at God for ever putting someone in my life… for forever altering my fate. As I said before, love has the power to move mountains. It is the source of the world’s greatest pains and pleasures, sometimes both in the same day. Love is powerful shit. 

 I hope it turns me upside down again one day.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tricia
    Jan 28, 2011 @ 03:51:52

    Very well written Pam.

    Reply

  2. pamelablair
    Jan 28, 2011 @ 16:15:28

    Thanks Tricia! Thanks to facebook, I see pictures of your little boy as he’s growing up. He’s such a cutie!

    Reply

  3. orourkera
    Jun 12, 2011 @ 16:15:34

    Well said. You have quite the impressive blog for one so talented at that bean bag toss game.

    Reply

  4. Samuel
    Jul 03, 2011 @ 15:13:36

    Living in truly harsh conditions, banding together for survival itself, gives a whole new perspective on what is important. People who have lived in the Dakotas know this 😉

    Augustus McRae and Captain Call knew this… and if you know who those 2 people are, you are AWESOME.

    So much of the problem comes from the desperate search for luxury, and hardships being something to FLEE from… when it is those very hardships that bring the most beauty.

    It is my hope that some of my recent hardships will bring about something beautiful, both in the form of love, and in my own inner transformation, that I will be more of a man than I was before it. It is my hope that I will never shirk a task, or flee a hardship that has my name on it.

    I have a feeling more hardship awaits me. I already know I am tough enough to withstand.

    Reply

    • pamelablair
      Jul 03, 2011 @ 19:10:14

      Of course I know who they are! 🙂 Even in my short lifetime I’ve encountered numerous people who have sought and found luxury, only to leave it behind for something more substantive. My favorite memories include no details about the material things around me… only the people and the feeling.

      Reply

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